Skipadeedoodaa!!! I am so so so happy to announce that Cartoons by Hilary will have a new weekly comic series on one of my favorite online publications, Real Pants! When they asked me to join their team I of course screamed “YEAH!” but then quickly agonized over what to title my series. I won’t tell you all of the absurd titles I tossed around with my mother/roommate/groupchat, but I will tell you where “Toast & Such” originated from. Yes, I love toast, that’s a given. I think I would replace every meal with toast if it was socially (physically) acceptable. But the phrase “toast & such” has stayed with me for many years, since the first time my cousins and I sat down at a little diner on the first hole of a shabby golf course on the Oregon coast. Perhaps it wasn’t really the first time we sat at this diner, since my family has been traveling to Gearhart every summer since the 60s (pre-Hilary, yes), but it is one of the earliest real memories I have from these trips. Not one of those fake memories I think I have only because I’ve been shown them on VHS tapes repeatedly. (See: Condo Olympics)
This diner is attached to the clubhouse of the Seaside Golf Course and you will be lucky to be waited on by one of two ladies. One whom I’ve only seen pass by and the other, a terse, tired, old Russian woman with dry red hair (I wonder if she uses conditioner?). She is rude and blunt and I love her. Our family being the type that only travels in herds, our arrival never ceases to give her a near heart attack. She throws the menus on the table with a “What the hell do you want attitude” and then you can delight in hearing phrases like “ we are out of fries because your kids ordered them all” or “We only have Pepsi.”
But where does toast come in to play? I will tell you. There is a little section on the menu titled “Toast & Such.” And that’s it. My cousins Jacque and Katie and I read this and truly believed it was the funniest thing we’d seen, at least that day. Tears streamed down our cheeks as we repeated it over and over, “toast and such!”
I ordered from the toast & such section that day and found they were out of wheat bread.